Thursday, July 16, 2009

Twisted Esoterica

Do birds whack off?
Are cows romantic?
If mosquitoes have the largest wangers,
do the blood sucking ladies
equate foot size to shlong?

Do bees even have knees?
How does one quantify a cat’s meow?
Is wherever birds of paradise live
exactly that?

When dogs bark together,
are they talking, or is it more akin
to the seagulls from Finding Nemo
calling “Mine?”

What exactly should I do
with your drift, were I to catch it?
And if you really hope to say,
then why the hell don’t you?

Are crazed bitches really rabid?
Do bastards truly not have moms?

Where did ‘Bless her heart’ come from,
when what is really meant is
‘She can’t tell her ass from a hole in the ground?’
And what shall we make of someone
who really can’t tell that difference?

When the cows come home,
do they know they’re there?
Just how much of a chance
does a snowball in hell have?
Has anyone ever really amputated
a body part just to spite their face?

Why in the hell would a bird in the hand
by worth two in the bush when all they’ll likely do
is poop on you?

And finally,
if it really don’t beat all,
are we in trouble?

1 comment:

David C. said...

Good one, Urb. I hereby tag you. Participation is completely optional. Click here for details.