Wednesday, July 08, 2009

That Guy

The guy who takes
brand new shopping carts at the factory
and fucks up one wheel
so that they thump with dependable annoyance.

The guy who jams the works of the meter at
the only open parking space
for blocks and blocks.

The guy who removes,
before final packaging and shipping,
that one tiny screw from the item
bearing those three terrible words,
some assembly required.

The guy who designs tops for salt dispensers
that pour enough at a single shake
to make your food inedible.

The guy who adjusts
the power window switch
on your car so that it fails
the day your warranty expires.

The guy who writes
the unimaginably difficult directions
for doing something simple that you need
to be able to use your new computer.

I don’t ever want to be that guy.

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