Monica says she just about never prays for herself. When she told me that, it struck me as funny that I will forget to do so when it counts the most...
I've been getting fairly desperate to get out of the line of work I'm in, and have written about it a couple of times. I've also started blogging pretty regularly, and let everybody know that. My oldest brother, Timmy, who's a Methodist Minister, read 'em all and came up with a couple of comments: First and foremost, he doesn't think the trout in the Stillwater was longer than 15", (I disagree, I measured that sucker...), and he reminded me that I apparently had neglected to pray about my needs for a job/career change: He said that it was not only proper to do so, but important - God will help, or make it clear which way to go, but you have to remember to listen for the response...
I'd had zero response, movement, anything from my job search prior to Timmy's comments: As soon as I did start to pray about it, I got a response from one outfit who said they're in a holding pattern, but will definitely interview me when they get out of it, and I got an interview for another spot scheduled this week. Call it what you want - Chance, serendipity, hard work, perseverance, whatever... I call it a small miracle and proof that God works in mysterious ways. Nothing's answered yet, of course, but there is positive movement, and that's huge - That's always been the sign of good things to come, and I believe it will be again.
In retrospect, I don't pray for myself that often at all. I have a routine, taking time at the beginning and end of each day for prayer, as well as anything in the intervening hours that seems to need it. But it occurred to me that I had become routine in what I pray for as well as when, and that just might be a contrary effort. Prayer needn't be just be a rote list I repeat each and every night; it probably should be about the people and things that really need prayer that night – Timely prayer I guess you'd call it…
I was reminded of a very, very dark time in my life, long ago and far away, when I considered checking out, in the big-picture sense. It was that bad, or rather, I thought it was that bad – I agonized and suffered and dug the hole deeper and deeper until I saw no way out. And then, one day, literally curled up on a couch in the fetal position, I heard a little voice literally say, “Let he who is thirsty come to me and drink” – All you have to do is ask, and I did, then and there. And just like that, all the weight left me; mental, physical, spiritual, it was all taken away. It was, in fact, my epiphany, the day that I changed from a person of spoken faith to one of true faith.
Of course, what’s happening now is in no way as profound, in any sense of the word. I’m fine, in fact, thanks to my wonderful wife and family. I am happier than I’ve ever been, and absolutely jazzed about the future. I just don’t want to waste any time in a place where I’m not happy and productive – It’s unhealthy and unnecessary. So, I’m asking, because I should: I guess we all need reminders now and again, to listen for the quiet voice of God in a loud world…
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