Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Something's Gotta Give

Had to go to the doc this morning, the semi-annual checkup. I take stuff for cholesterol, and for high blood pressure: Both are somewhat hereditary, but the blood pressure is predominantly stress induced.

It's my frickin' job. I always thought I wouldn't be stressed by 'normal work', after years of firefighting and law enforcement, but I was fooling myself. I am stressed. Actually, it comes from not providing for my family like I know I can and feel I should, and from things not going well when I know they could and should.

I called Monica after the appointment and told her about it. She pointed out that it was the same with the last job, and the job before that... Her point being, I've been doing the same thing for 10 years now, and it's definitely wearing on me. She mentioned the need for a 'Life Change', and I agree.

I was bitchin' and whinin' about this earlier this year, though then it was frustration induced. Now, it's a health matter, and that's enough of that. I am not going to let my health be threatened because I stress over what I do.

I am going to change careers, again. And this time, I'm going to do something I want to do, something I find fun, or at least easy going. I don't know what it is yet, and I don't care. I am resolved, here and now, that I'm done working at stuff that stresses me this much. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is.

Having finally found a partner I can and will and absolutely want to grow old with, I need to make sure I make it to those years. So, this morning just kinda outlined, I don't have time to dink around much longer. It's time to think, plan, take steps and do it.

Whether that means I'm gonna be selling tools, or underwriting, or doing title work, I don't know, but I'm gonna start today...

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