Death Becomes Them

Some kill varmints for the sake of killing;
squirrels, chukkas, and the like.
I won’t blast tiny, furry beasts,
but I can appreciate the concept;
there are some creatures that need to die…

I’d start with the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
As for how he’ll meet his final end,
how about a quick trip to the microwave;
pop goes the weasel!

Next comes the Snuggle Bear;
he gets a .223 right behind the ear as
he hovers oblivious over a load in the dryer...

Then it’s time for the Charmin Bears
(Why are there SO MANY bears
in shitty advertising anyway?!)
And yes, as a matter of fact,
I AM gonna whack ‘em right between the eyes
as they shit in the woods.

And last but not least,
Charlie The Tuna:
Sucker that he is, he bites
on a Skok's Bonito Deceiver
tied on a #1 hook;
sorry, Charlie…